Introduction to Dungeons and Dragons

There are so many things to watch on Thursday nights that it’s hard to keep track of all the shows, then process and post something in a timely fashion.  I obviously lead a very thrilling life, but I couldn’t let this week’s “Community” pass by without commenting on how truly awesome the show is.  Introduction to Dungeons and Dragons was a play on all of the LOTR movies, with a little bit of blackface mixed in.  Don’t worry though, it wasn’t offensive because Ken Jeong was only dressed as Drow from Dungeons and Dragons. 

I really love this show because it’s only the second season and the writers continue to keep the jokes fresh by trying new things to keep the show interesting.  Unlike, “The Office” which relies heavily on how clueless Michael Scott is, or “30 Rock” which focuses on how aloof Liz Lemon can be.  I'd say it's very similar to "Arrested Development" which was a truly great show before it was canceled. 

Mr. Potter

Really?  There were no other chairs available?

Biutiful

Alejandro González Iñárritu’s “Biutiful” is his third Oscar nominated movie in ten years (“Amores Perros,” “Babel”).  Iñárritu also directed 21 Grams, which was widely released in the United States and heavily praised for its acting. 

“Biutiful,” like most of Iñárritu’s other work, is a gritty examination of inner conflict for the protagonist.  Javier Bardem plays Uxbal, a low level criminal, organizing the trade of counterfeit bags, made and sold by illegal immigrants.  He also has terminal cancer, two children to support, a bipolar wife, and can see the dead.  Bardem’s performance earned him an Oscar nomination, the first for a role spoken entirely in Spanish.

It’s obvious that Bardem is one of the best actors out there, with his best work is reserved for very solemn characters.   His voice remains monotone, and body stationary, conveying a wide range of emotion through his face, which is both deformed and handsome at the same time.  Bardem does this with such ease, something that other strong actors, like Leonardo DiCaprio, struggle with and prevents them from being recognized come award season. 

Overall, the movie was interesting.  I’m not sure how necessary Bardem’s sixth sense was to the film, but it made for some pretty creepy moments.  I would recommend the movie to anyone who’s stuck in the February/March movie slump, and has already seen all the other critical favorites of the season.

The Illusionist

Having recently seen “The Triplets of Belleville,” which was nominated for Best Animated Feature in 2004, but lost to “Finding Nemo,” I was very much looking forward to seeing Sylvian Chomet’s second animated film, “The Illustionist.” 

Both the “The Triplets of Belleville” and “The Illustionist” are hand animated, and very reminiscent of 1960’s Disney films, the stories however, are much more complicated and adult. Also, both movies are completely void of spoken word, which presents a challenge for the animators who must keep the viewers engaged.

“The Illusionist” is a story of a magician in Paris and Edinburgh during the late 1950’s struggling to find work in an era where television and rock bands are starting to take hold.  As a traveling artist he happens upon a young girl who believes his act is real, true magic.  She moves with him to Edinburgh where they develop a father-daughter relationship.  Just as a father would want to make their daughter happy, the magician conjures up shoes, dresses, coats, which the girl believes to be magic.  Sadly, for the magician he must take on odd jobs to support the girl’s increasingly expensive tastes.  As the girl remains naïve, the characters that the two are friends with, and the magician himself, must deal with the harsh realities of life.

This movie was beautiful, nuanced, and quite sad.  Though this isn’t the most eloquent analysis of a film, it’s the best way to describe it.  I really enjoyed it and think it’s a shame it will lose out to “Toy Story 3,” which is just as deserving of Best Picture as “The King’s Speech” or “Social Network.” 

What is wrong with people?

OMG...RHOM!

Real Housewives fans rejoice! The newest location and cast for the upcoming season have been revealed.

The latest installment of the Real Housewives franchise will be shot in Miami, and follow six women on their quest for cultural destruction.  Though I believe the series may have peaked in Beverly Hills, which was filled with celebrity wives, self-made moguls and deranged former child stars, I do have hope for the new Miami cast.  With even more reconstruction by plastic surgery than their predecessors, and an added pinch of Latin flavor, there's bound to be some weave/wig pulling.  At the very least, there will be awkward floor humping, and a self-proclaimed witch straight out of a fairy tale.  Or nightmare.  Whichever is worse.

The new season of Real Housewives of Miami premieres Tuesday, February 22nd.  Until then, we'll have to make do with the sneak peek.

The Force.

This commercial makes me want to buy a Volkswagen vehicle. It also makes me want to have a child who aspires to be Darth Vader.

Honors English

If I lived in Ohio and paid taxes to support public education, and more specifically to support the education of Ohio State students, I would be pretty angry this afternoon. 

In an Honors Intro to Fiction English class at an institution for higher learning, one would expect to find the works of literary greats like Charles Dickens, Ernest Hemingway and Virginia Woolf.  At Ohio State the four pieces of literature that are required reading for students include: Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, Bram Stoker's Dracula, short stories by Henry James... and Stephanie Meyer's Twilight.

Though there are valid reasons for students to explore contemporary works of fiction, Twilight is a young adult book where vampires sparkle, and a telepathic fetus rips through its mother's womb then falls in love with a 16 year old werewolf.

Just to compare, here's a quote from Twilight: "I hear voices in my mind and you’re worried that you’re the freak."

Here's a quote from Stoker's Dracula:  "The sweetness was turned to adamantine, heartless cruelty, and the purity to voluptuous wantonness."

Again, Twilight: "I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around."

And, Dracula: "I shall cut off her head and fill her mouth with garlic, and I shall drive a stake through her body."

I got you babe.



Today is Groundhog Day, and according to Punxsutawney Phil it's going to be an early spring.  Of his 115 predictions, he has only predicted an early spring 15 times (13%).  Don't get excited just yet though, his accuracy is an abysmal 39%.

Versace Gold Rush

"Bridesmaids" has been labeled the female version of "The Hangover."  I'm not entirely sure that the same over-the-top and offensive gags that made "The Hangover" truly funny will fly in a chick flick.  It is produced by Judd Apatow though, so there is hope.  Either way, the trailer looks pretty good.

P.S. I'm going to be in a friend's wedding this summer.  Take a guess at which bridesmaid I am.

Why so serious?

Is it just me, or does 2012 have an awesome lineup of movie releases?

I recently posted on Christopher Nolan’s choice of Anne Hathaway to play Catwoman in the 2012 release of “The Dark Knight Rises.”   While an interesting selection, it remains to be seen if she’s capable of such a dark role, and being a worthy follow-up to Heath Ledger’s Oscar-winning Joker.

It may not matter how good or bad Hathaway is because today Deadline posted that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is in talks to reunite with Nolan. Nolan directed JGL in “Inception” alongside Tom Hardy, who will portray Bane in the upcoming Batman flick.

In “Inception,” I thought JGL really stole the movie, especially in the rotating hotel hallway fight scene, so I’m pretty pleased with the prospect of him joining the Batman cast.  Which character he’s set to play remains a mystery, but in my opinion, he would make an excellent Riddler.  And though it may seem blasphemous to have him replace Ledger as the Joker, JGL does have an uncanny resemblance to the late actor.

Oh, to be rich and famous.

The Vanity Fair cover for the Hollywood issue was revealed today, and it's quite lovely.  Much darker and diverse than last year's cover, which only featured blond, under-25 actresses.

From right to left: Ryan Reynolds, Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway, Anne Hathaway's teased hair, James Franco, Jennifer Lawrence, Anthony Mackie, Olivia Wilde, Olivia Wilde's side boob, Jesse Eisenberg, Mila Kunis, Robert Duvall, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Andrew Garfield, Lion Cub, Rashida Jones, Garrett Hedlund and Noomi Rapace.

I understand that they wanted to have someone a bit older in the mix, but was it really necessary to include Robert Duvall?  They just ended up shoving him behind the bar, like the creepy ghost bartender from "The Shining."

Best Dressed

"Modern Family" is one of my favorite TV shows, so I'm always pleased when it wins at the many award shows that happen throughout the year.  At tonight's SAG awards Sofia Vergara (Gloria) wore a stunning brilliant blue/cerulean Roberto Cavalli.  Brunettes always look better in bright colors, yet most ready-to-wear clothing comes in neutrals, or pastels.  Life is so hard. 

I digress.  Sofia Vergara has my vote for Best Dressed of the night.

Worst Dressed

It looks like Natalie Portman is going to win an Academy Award next month.  Tonight she picked up a SAG award for her role in "Black Swan," which is usually a good indication who takes home an Oscar in the acting catagories.

I don't know how qualified I am to have an opinion on couture fashion, but I disliked Portman's dress SO much I had to comment.  Her Golden Globes dress was a silk tent, with a rose applique, and her SAG dress (pictured above) was an extremely clingy Azzaro sheath.  The color was not at all flattering, and it appeared under the bright lights as if you could almost see through her dress.  As she made her way on stage to accept her award it stuck to all the wrong places, especially her sunken in navel.  I'm curious to know if she has a stylist, because it appears as if she chose this dress months before she got pregnant. 

I sincerely hope that if she wins the Oscar for Best Actress that she finds someone who can help her choose a better outfit.

It's a bird... It's a plane...

   

Anyone who has seen Showtime’s “The Tudors” knows who Henry Cavill is; he played Charles Brandon, Henry VIII’s closest friend and advisor.  What most people don’t know is that he was Stephanie Meyer’s first choice to portray Edward Cullen in the “Twilight” series.  At the time, he was already 25, and producers thought he was too old to play a 17-year-old.   Good news for Robert Pattinson.

Today it was announced that Cavill might have another shot at stardom when he becomes the next Superman.  According to Deadline, the studio was looking for someone who is not already a household name. Other than Cavill, they were considering Armie Hammer, the Winklevii  in “Social Network,” Joe Manganiello, werewolf guy on “True Blood,” and Ian Somerhalder, Boone from “Lost.” 

Interestingly, this now means all of America’s great superheroes are being played by men from the UK: Henry Cavill as Superman, Andrew Garfield as Spiderman and Christian Bale.  I love my country, but all three of them are pretty amazing.  I love them all.  I think I have a thing for Brits.

Fist pumping

As I’ve previously stated, “Jersey Shore” is so deliciously awful that it’s hard to ignore it, in the most painful way.  I was delighted to learn that not only is the JWOWW/Snooki spin-off in the works, but the entire cast will be heading to Italy for season four.

Unfortunately, it appears as if the spin-off will be scripted. Viewers will get to see both women struggle to “learn” how to write checks, and interact with men in business situations.  Thought it doesn’t sound like it’s past the realm of believability, Snooki has a book deal and JWOWW is in the middle of legal proceedings with her ex-boyfriend, so they must have some grasp on how the world works.   The thought provoking fights will revolve around Snooki’s inability to change toilet paper.

I’m more excited to see the cast land in Italy: their “homeland.”  Only half of the original cast members are full-blooded Italian, and I think it’s safe to say most people in Italy are not the mutated self-proclaimed Guidos, like those found roaming the beaches of the Jersey Shore.

And the nominees are...

In honor of this year's Best Actor nominee.

Oscar nominations came out yesterday, and I got 27 out of 30 predictions correct for the Best Picture and acting catagories!  I tried to base my predictions on only movies I had seen.  I chose Ryan Gosling over Javier Bardem in "Biutiful," and Mila Kunis over Jackie Weaver in "Animal Kingdom."  Sadly, Andrew Garfield didn't get a nomination over Mark Ruffalo in "The Kids Are All Right."  Mark Ruffalo was being Mark Ruffalo in the most Ruffaloian way possible in that movie, I never would have chosen him.

I didn't predict which directors would get nominated, but I am quite surprised that David O. Russel director of "The Fighter" got the nomination over Christopher Nolan for "Inception."  Some people are saying Tom Hooper was the oddball who stole Nolan's nomination.  Traditionally, for a film to be in the running for Best Picture, its director must be nominated.  "The Kings Speech" is a serious contender for best picture, so Hooper makes sense.  It's a shame that Nolan was snubbed, because as commercial as his movie was it was quite innovative.

Up next: winner predictions.

MEGACITY

Last night during the State of the Union, President Obama talked about building up the country’s infrastructure and investing in education.  Thank god!  Not that it’s a competition with China, who is heavily investing in its future like a Tiger mom would, while we continue to invest in our past with enormous entitlement programs, but China is building a MEGACITY!

City planners are hoping to combine nine cities along the Pearl River Delta to make one huge 42 million person metropolis.  According to The Telegraph there are 150 infrastructure projects that will bring the transport, energy, water and telecommunication networks of the nine cities together.  The project will take six years and cost the country $300 billion.

I want to get out to the Hamptons just thinking about the new megacity.

Two months until London.

Start every day with a smile and get it over with

This morning the New York Times featured an article in their Science section about smiles that was truly fascinating. 

When watching celebrities walk the red carpet posing for photographers or seeing photos pop up on a Facebook newsfeed, the smiles can appear to be a bit phony.  Yes, the mouth is forming a smile, but the people in the pictures don’t look happy, and sometimes look dead in the eyes.

The Times article interviewed Dr. Paula Niedenthal, a social psychologist, who studies emotions.  She and her colleagues believe that the source and the way people perceive smiles, are not simply the expression of internal feelings, but “the most visible part of an intimate melding between two minds.”