Winners
Bran Stark—Poor Bran. He was thrown from a tower after witnessing the Lannister twins getting it on, he’s comatose in a time and place without electricity, so it’s unknown how his body is getting any nutrients at all, and of course someone is trying to kill him. Bran does have a couple good things going for him though. His direwolf is fiercely protective and mauls an intruder trying to assassinate him, he has some valuable information on the Lannisters if he can survive long enough to share it with someone, and at the end of the episode he finally regain consciousness. Bran’s status has seriously improved since the end of episode one.
Dragon Eggs—Daenerys is in marriage arranged by her brother, where she gets raped. A lot. Oddly, she seems to find solace thinking about, and staring at, three dragon eggs gifted to her at the wedding ceremony. For this reason, the dragon eggs get more screen time than many of the main characters.
Tyrion Lannister—Though Tyrion is a dwarf whose murderous siblings have an incestuous relationship, overall he seems like a good guy. He slaps around his insufferable nephew for not paying respect to the Stark family after Bran’s fall, he makes it seem as if he’d be pleased if his brother and sister’s relationship was discovered, and he brings some levity to the show.
Losers
Joffrey Baratheon—Son to the King and Cersei Lannister, Joffrey is a self-entitled brat. He is the quintessential medieval frat bro. He tries to get Sansa Stark drunk, he bullies Arya Stark and her friend the local butcher boy before Arya is able to disarm him and her direwolf attacks him, he lies to the king about the altercation with Arya and has the direwolf killed. Overall, Joffrey is miserable and can’t even fight a girl younger than him.
Catelyn Stark—Catelyn is the stoic wife of Eddard Stark. In episode two Eddard departs Winterfell to serve the king, leaving her alone to watch over the house and children. It’s difficult to feel bad for her when she’s such a B to Eddard’s bastard son. It understandable though, she’s aware that history may repeat itself and her husband may find comfort in the arms of another woman. But really, this should be no surprise. Catelyn has no ability to make arts and crafts. Instead of knitting, or making a soft token of love for her comatose son, she fashions a wreath-doll from twigs that looks like it’s from the Blair Witch Project. Her one redeeming quality is that she’s pretty badass. When an assassin comes to Bran’s room, she grabs his knife blade with her bare hands.
Direwolves—The direwolf is the symbol the House of Stark. In episode one, the Starks stumbled upon 6 direwolf cubs, each one representing the six children of the family. They intensely loyal to the Starks, keeping watch over the children, and jumping to the rescue whenever the Starks are in dire straights. No pun intended. And what do they get in return? Distain from the mother Catelyn, banished to avoid execution, and put to death to pay for a false crime again the prince. Direwolves lost this week.
