Last night was the episode six of "Game of Thrones." Below is a list of this week's winners and losers. Be warned there are spoilers ahead!
Lannister blood line — After carefully following Jon Arryn’s footsteps to track down King Robert’s illegitimate children, Ned Stark has finally figured out that the King’s sole legitimate son, Prince Joffrey, may not actually be of Robert’s “strong seed.” All it took was some good old fashion research into Robert’s genealogy, and common sense to determine that no Baratheon male has ever had light hair like Joffrey’s. Where Robert’s legitimate bloodline ends, the product of Lannister incest begins.
Pregnancy food cravings— Although her marriage to Khal Drogo didn’t exactly start off on the right foot (see: marital rape) Daenerys is settling into life as the Queen of the Dothrakis quite well. She and Drogo overcame their differences in the bedroom and she is pregnant with his child. In true Dothraki tradition, Daenerys eats a heart freshly cut from a horse’s chest to determine the sex of the baby. Since she doesn’t vomit in front of the Dothraki royal court the child is obviously a boy. I don’t even know why we use sonograms these days.
Lannister blood line — After carefully following Jon Arryn’s footsteps to track down King Robert’s illegitimate children, Ned Stark has finally figured out that the King’s sole legitimate son, Prince Joffrey, may not actually be of Robert’s “strong seed.” All it took was some good old fashion research into Robert’s genealogy, and common sense to determine that no Baratheon male has ever had light hair like Joffrey’s. Where Robert’s legitimate bloodline ends, the product of Lannister incest begins.
Pregnancy food cravings— Although her marriage to Khal Drogo didn’t exactly start off on the right foot (see: marital rape) Daenerys is settling into life as the Queen of the Dothrakis quite well. She and Drogo overcame their differences in the bedroom and she is pregnant with his child. In true Dothraki tradition, Daenerys eats a heart freshly cut from a horse’s chest to determine the sex of the baby. Since she doesn’t vomit in front of the Dothraki royal court the child is obviously a boy. I don’t even know why we use sonograms these days.
Losers
Trial by jury—In episode six Tyrion Lannister is being held captive at Vail for attempting to murder Bran Stark. Catelynn Stark’s crazy sister, last seen breast feeding her 8 year old son on the throne, informs Tyrion he can either plead his case to her 8 year old son. If Tyrion is found guilty he will be sentenced to “an elegant death” by being thrown through a hole in the floor of the castle thousands of feet above the earth. Tyrion’s other option is a trial by combat, which does not involve pleading his case, just fighting someone to the death and hoping to come out on top. Jon Arryn’s crazy wife did not offer Tyrion America’s civilized option of a trial by jury of ones peers.
Sansa Stark — Sansa’s loyalty to the Stark family is virtually nonexistent, which became quite evident when she threw her younger sister under the bus after Prince Joffrey attacked Ayra and was mauled by a direwolf as a result. This week she’s taking pages out of the book for Circe Lannister’s hairstyling techniques, thus her transition to mega-bitch has begun. Sadly for her it’s all for naught. Ned Stark has declared war against the Lannisters and has decided to send his daughters back to Winterfell just as Sansa was getting so close with her future husband, Prince Joffrey, the product of incest.
Jon Snow — Poor Jon Snow. Stuck at the Winter Wall, and completely absent for two full episodes. I suppose that’s what happens when you’re born out of wedlock.
