Monday, February 28, 2011

DWTS


Here's a break down of the "Dancing with the Stars" cast by the season sterotype:

Disney Channel star whose name escapes everyone: Chelsea Kane
Footballer: Hines Ward (Pittsburgh Steelers)
Washed up television star: Kirstie Alley (also, the weight challenged contestant of the season)
Aging extreme sports guy: Chris Jericho (WWE)
Complete unknown: Mike Catherwood (no idea)
Accomplished big name headliner: Petra Nemcova (supermodel)
80's icon who hasn't worked in years: Ralph Macchio (Karate Kid)
Famous person's spawn: Lil Romeo (Master P's son)
Sassy non-white woman: Wendy Williams (talk show host)
Old respected sports star: Sugar Ray Leonard
Attractive woman with a large chest: Kendra Wilkinson (Hugh Hefner's ex)

Not participating?  2010 Senate candidate from Delaware, Christine O'Donnell.  She's too busy writing a book about the election.  Shocking.

Vatican assassin warlocks

A tribute to Hollywood's craziest.

Sexy feet. SEXY FEET!

Funniest part of Oscar night:

Someday my wish will come true...


...to own an English Bulldog, and name it Boo Radley.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Intensity

Catherine Zeta-Jones was accidentally hit in the face by a member of the paparazzi.  This was the result.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

One month until London.

24-hour Movie Marathon


The Oscars are Sunday night (check out the LIVE BLOG), and I desperately wish I had the weekend off so I could attend AMC's 24-hour movie marathon showcase.  AMC has held the event in previous years, and I've seen all of the Best Picture nominees, but I'd love to participate in the marathon just to test my stamina.  It sounds like it's not for the faint of heart. 

Perhaps next year.

If you live in or near the following cities, let me know how the marathon goes: Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Houston, Kansas City, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, New York, Phoenix, San Francisco, Washington DC.

Gentlemen

(via PassiveAggressiveNotes.com)

Monday, February 21, 2011

Oscar Predix

Oscar hosts: Anne Hathaway and James Franco
Oscar ballots are due tomorrow, and here are my predictions on who will win Sunday night. 

Check back at 8pm on Sunday!  I'll be live blogging during the ceremony.

BEST PICTURE
(Black Swan, The Fighter, Inception, The Kids Are All Right, The King's Speech, 127 Hours, The Social Network, Toy Story 3, True Grit, Winter's Bone)

What will win: The King’s Speech
I really enjoyed this movie, which is why back in November I predicted that it would win Best Picture.  The older contingent of Oscar voters loves the epic, feel-good movies, which is why after a loss at the Golden Globes, Harvey Weinstein put his PR machine into full gear.  It looks like it’s going to pay off. 

What should win: The Social Network
I did like The King’s Speech better, but The Social Network was a very close second for me.  I think it’s more deserving of the win because it’s one of those films that is a portrayal of the current cultural atmosphere.  In 1977, the feel-good film of the year, Rocky, topped All the President’s Men, Network and Taxi Driver, three films that reflected the sense of disillusionment the country had been feeling for some time.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Long stabby things


I desperately wish the United States had morning shows with anchors who unapologetically use sexual innuendo at the top of their show.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Love is in the air!

People either seem to adore or fervently despise Valentine's Day.  I love it.  It's just a beautiful day with flowers and hearts everywhere.  And, it's also pretty fun to see men scurry around all day with worried looks on their faces.

Since I'm obviously a sucker for romance, I wanted to share a list of my all-time favorite fictional couples.

Rhett and Scarlett from Gone with the Wind are so perfect together.  They kind of hate one another, but it just works.

Wall-E and Eva from Wall-E.  Even robots fall in love.

Elinor Dashwood and Edward Ferrars from Sense and Sensibility are not as well known as Jane Austen's most famous pair, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy, but their story is far more romantic.  Mr. Darcy had it all and chose Elizabeth.  Edward Ferrars had it all and gave it up for Elinor.

 

Clementine and Joel from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; They fall back in love after erasing their memories of one another. 

 

Harry and Sally from When Harry Met Sally.  What kind of love could be better than two best friends realizing they're meant for each other?

 

Rick and Ilsa from Casablanca.  He loved her so much he let her leave with Victor Laszlo


My least favorite couple?



Sunday, February 13, 2011

Grammy Cracker

I had no intention of watching the Grammys, but I did tune-in the red carpet arrivals.




Thursday, February 10, 2011

I'm lovin' it.

The things I enjoy most in life are the highest quality, most luxurious and quite expensive, OR the most simple, basic and cheap.  I don't like mediocrity.  See examples below.

Current events:  Jeffrey Toobin's latest New Yorker article on the Supreme Court, OR TMZ's coverage on Lindsay Lohan's latest felony charges.

Food: Fuji apple foie gras on a brioche toast, from the three Michelin star restaurant, OR Chicken McNuggets with honey, fries and coke.

Christmas decor: The limited edition glass ornaments, hand crafted in Germany, OR the multi-colored large bulb string lights.

Accessories: The large Chloe Marcie bag, OR the Wal-Mart canvas tote.

Music: Beethovan's seventh symphony, Allegretto, OR Lil Wayne's "Gonorrhea."

Television: HBO's "Mildred Pierce," OR MTV's "Jersey Shore."

Please enjoy the mid-season preview for "Jersey Shore."


Comic book movies


I have a soft spot for comic book movies.  Sometimes they're bad (Spiderman 3) and sometimes they're great (The Dark Knight).  X-Men First Class looks heavy on the CGI, but has the potential to be pretty good. 

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

History Nerd

This year marks the 150th anniversary of the Civil War and to commemorate the event there are a number of television shows and movies coming out in the next four years. 

As a self-proclaimed history nerd I’m really looking forward to what’s being labeled “Shark Week with muskets.”  The History Channel will feature a week of programming which will include Civil War-themed episodes of "Pawn Stars" and "American Pickers," a two-hour special called "Grant & Lee," and "Gettysburg" a film produced by Ridley Scott.  "Gettysburg" will focus on stories of the soldiers who fought, and strip away the romanticized veneer of war by presenting the battle as a visceral terrifying experience though reenactment footage and CGI.



Due out in April is “The Conspirator,” directed by Robert Redford, which tells the story of Mary Surratt the lone female charged as a co-conspirator in the assassination trial of Abraham Lincoln.

Then of course there’s Spielberg’s “Lincoln,” which is scheduled to begin filming this summer, and “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter,” which is still in the casting stages.

UPDATE: RHOBH + Heidi Montag = blasphemy

I’ve been quite vocal about my love for RHOBH and all of its awful glory.  There have been rumors that the New York season was postponed because Bravo execs are trying to bring Camille Grammar on as a late addition to the cast.  Unfortunately, Camille has not yet determined whether she’ll return for Beverly Hills season 2. 

Imagine my dismay upon learning that former MTV reality star Heidi Montag is actively pursuing joining the Beverly Hills cast.  Heidi and her husband set up a meeting between their people and Bravo, which took place yesterday.   Though there have been reports that the couple is bankrupt, they have said they would move to Beverly Hills if asked.


UPDATE: Bravo's Senior VP of Programming and Development, Andy Cohen, who is heavily involved with all aspects of the Real Housewives franchise said that Montag is delusional, and he'd rather stab his eyes out with knives than see that "trash" on the show.

Ex-girlfriend jeans?


First came the wildly unflattering boyfriend jeans for girls, and now there's the ex-girlfriend jeans for boys.  I can't decide if I'm really uncomfortable with boy skinny jeans, or if I kind of love them.  Or a little bit of both.  Either way, if an ex stole a pair of my jeans I'd be pretty upset.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Life is like a box of chocolates

The wisdom of movies:


Love Brad Pitt's accent.



Wild thing

For the last couple of years I've been in love with the jewelry designed by Solange Azagury-Partridge, and someday I'll be able to afford a couple of pieces.  My favorte items are the 3-carrot ring, and the Bleeding Heart.

Later this month she's releasing a line of Chinese Zodiac rings that are truly lust worthy.

On the record...

I cannot wait to send these: 





Monday, February 7, 2011

Barbie and Ken

Valentine's Day is next week, and I can't wait! 

Neither can Ken, who's in the process of trying to win back his longtime companion Barbie by V-day.  The pair split in 2004 so that Barbie could "assert herself as an independent woman," according to Mattel.  Seven years later, Ken is been flirting with his former flame via Facebook, and plastering billboards in Times Square and all over Los Angeles proclaiming his love.  Sounds a bit unstable. 

But perhaps they are a perfect match.  According to her bio, Barbie has owned over 40 different pets, including a lion, a panda and a zebra.  She has not had a normal and continuous career, opting instead to bounce around from job to job as a pilot, flight attendant, Nascar driver, doctor, astronaut, news anchor, etc.  Sounds a bit unstable.

Check out the photo of Ken after his new makeover.  What a douche.

Artisanal cheese

What I gathered from the Super Bowl last night was the following: 
  • Christina Aguilera has a hard time remembering the eight lines to America's most famous song
  • Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas should not impersonate Axl Rose (at least not in public)
  • I'm really good at identifying awesome commercials, especially before they're released
  • Glee gets progressively worse with each episode.  Do they even bother outlining a plot for that show anymore?  
I'm not from Pennsylvania or Wisconsin, so the outcome of the game was moot to me.  However, I did enjoy the new edition of "Mayne Street" during ESPN's pregame coverage, which examined Green Bay Packers head coach Mike McCarthy's humble background.  It also included a Matt Damon cameo.     

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Introduction to Dungeons and Dragons

There are so many things to watch on Thursday nights that it’s hard to keep track of all the shows, then process and post something in a timely fashion.  I obviously lead a very thrilling life, but I couldn’t let this week’s “Community” pass by without commenting on how truly awesome the show is.  Introduction to Dungeons and Dragons was a play on all of the LOTR movies, with a little bit of blackface mixed in.  Don’t worry though, it wasn’t offensive because Ken Jeong was only dressed as Drow from Dungeons and Dragons. 

I really love this show because it’s only the second season and the writers continue to keep the jokes fresh by trying new things to keep the show interesting.  Unlike, “The Office” which relies heavily on how clueless Michael Scott is, or “30 Rock” which focuses on how aloof Liz Lemon can be.  I'd say it's very similar to "Arrested Development" which was a truly great show before it was canceled. 

Mr. Potter



Really?  There were no other chairs available?

Biutiful

Alejandro González Iñárritu’s “Biutiful” is his third Oscar nominated movie in ten years (“Amores Perros,” “Babel”).  Iñárritu also directed 21 Grams, which was widely released in the United States and heavily praised for its acting. 
Biutiful,” like most of Iñárritu’s other work, is a gritty examination of inner conflict for the protagonist.  Javier Bardem plays Uxbal, a low level criminal, organizing the trade of counterfeit bags, made and sold by illegal immigrants.  He also has terminal cancer, two children to support, a bipolar wife, and can see the dead.  Bardem’s performance earned him an Oscar nomination, the first for a role spoken entirely in Spanish.
It’s obvious that Bardem is one of the best actors out there, with his best work is reserved for very solemn characters.   His voice remains monotone, and body stationary, conveying a wide range of emotion through his face, which is both deformed and handsome at the same time.  Bardem does this with such ease, something that other strong actors, like Leonardo DiCaprio, struggle with and prevents them from being recognized come award season. 
Overall, the movie was interesting.  I’m not sure how necessary Bardem’s sixth sense was to the film, but it made for some pretty creepy moments.  I would recommend the movie to anyone who’s stuck in the February/March movie slump, and has already seen all the other critical favorites of the season.

Friday, February 4, 2011

The Illusionist

Having recently seen “The Triplets of Belleville,” which was nominated for Best Animated Feature in 2004, but lost to “Finding Nemo,” I was very much looking forward to seeing Sylvian Chomet’s second animated film, “The Illustionist.” 

Both the “The Triplets of Bellevilleand “The Illustionist” are hand animated, and very reminiscent of 1960’s Disney films, the stories however, are much more complicated and adult. Also, both movies are completely void of spoken word, which presents a challenge for the animators who must keep the viewers engaged.

The Illusionist” is a story of a magician in Paris and Edinburgh during the late 1950’s struggling to find work in an era where television and rock bands are starting to take hold.  As a traveling artist he happens upon a young girl who believes his act is real, true magic.  She moves with him to Edinburgh where they develop a father-daughter relationship.  Just as a father would want to make their daughter happy, the magician conjures up shoes, dresses, coats, which the girl believes to be magic.  Sadly, for the magician he must take on odd jobs to support the girl’s increasingly expensive tastes.  As the girl remains naïve, the characters that the two are friends with, and the magician himself, must deal with the harsh realities of life.

This movie was beautiful, nuanced, and quite sad.  Though this isn’t the most eloquent analysis of a film, it’s the best way to describe it.  I really enjoyed it and think it’s a shame it will lose out to “Toy Story 3,” which is just as deserving of Best Picture as “The King’s Speech” or “Social Network.” 

What is wrong with people?

Thursday, February 3, 2011

OMG...RHOM!

Real Housewives fans rejoice! The newest location and cast for the upcoming season have been revealed.

The latest installment of the Real Housewives franchise will be shot in Miami, and follow six women on their quest for cultural destruction.  Though I believe the series may have peaked in Beverly Hills, which was filled with celebrity wives, self-made moguls and deranged former child stars, I do have hope for the new Miami cast.  With even more reconstruction by plastic surgery than their predecessors, and an added pinch of Latin flavor, there's bound to be some weave/wig pulling.  At the very least, there will be awkward floor humping, and a self-proclaimed witch straight out of a fairy tale.  Or nightmare.  Whichever is worse.

The new season of Real Housewives of Miami premieres Tuesday, February 22nd.  Until then, we'll have to make do with the sneak peek.


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Force.


This commercial makes me want to buy a Volkswagen vehicle. It also makes me want to have a child who aspires to be Darth Vader.

Honors English

If I lived in Ohio and paid taxes to support public education, and more specifically to support the education of Ohio State students, I would be pretty angry this afternoon. 

In an Honors Intro to Fiction English class at an institution for higher learning, one would expect to find the works of literary greats like Charles Dickens, Ernest Hemingway and Virginia Woolf.  At Ohio State the four pieces of literature that are required reading for students include: Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, Bram Stoker's Dracula, short stories by Henry James... and Stephanie Meyer's Twilight.

Though there are valid reasons for students to explore contemporary works of fiction, Twilight is a young adult book where vampires sparkle, and a telepathic fetus rips through its mother's womb then falls in love with a 16 year old werewolf.

Just to compare, here's a quote from Twilight: "I hear voices in my mind and you’re worried that you’re the freak."

Here's a quote from Stoker's Dracula:  "The sweetness was turned to adamantine, heartless cruelty, and the purity to voluptuous wantonness."

Again, Twilight: "I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around."

And, Dracula: "I shall cut off her head and fill her mouth with garlic, and I shall drive a stake through her body."

I got you babe.


Today is Groundhog Day, and according to Punxsutawney Phil it's going to be an early spring.  Of his 115 predictions, he has only predicted an early spring 15 times (13%).  Don't get excited just yet though, his accuracy is an abysmal 39%.

Versace Gold Rush


"Bridesmaids" has been labeled the female version of "The Hangover."  I'm not entirely sure that the same over-the-top and offensive gags that made "The Hangover" truly funny will fly in a chick flick.  It is produced by Judd Apatow though, so there is hope.  Either way, the trailer looks pretty good.

P.S. I'm going to be in a friend's wedding this summer.  Take a guess at which bridesmaid I am.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Why so serious?

Is it just me, or does 2012 have an awesome lineup of movie releases?

I recently posted on Christopher Nolan’s choice of Anne Hathaway to play Catwoman in the 2012 release of “The Dark Knight Rises.”   While an interesting selection, it remains to be seen if she’s capable of such a dark role, and being a worthy follow-up to Heath Ledger’s Oscar-winning Joker.

It may not matter how good or bad Hathaway is because today Deadline posted that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is in talks to reunite with Nolan. Nolan directed JGL in “Inception” alongside Tom Hardy, who will portray Bane in the upcoming Batman flick.

In “Inception,” I thought JGL really stole the movie, especially in the rotating hotel hallway fight scene, so I’m pretty pleased with the prospect of him joining the Batman cast.  Which character he’s set to play remains a mystery, but in my opinion, he would make an excellent Riddler.  And though it may seem blasphemous to have him replace Ledger as the Joker, JGL does have an uncanny resemblance to the late actor.

Oh, to be rich and famous.


The Vanity Fair cover for the Hollywood issue was revealed today, and it's quite lovely.  Much darker and diverse than last year's cover, which only featured blond, under-25 actresses.

From right to left: Ryan Reynolds, Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway, Anne Hathaway's teased hair, James Franco, Jennifer Lawrence, Anthony Mackie, Olivia Wilde, Olivia Wilde's side boob, Jesse Eisenberg, Mila Kunis, Robert Duvall, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Andrew Garfield, Lion Cub, Rashida Jones, Garrett Hedlund and Noomi Rapace.

I understand that they wanted to have someone a bit older in the mix, but was it really necessary to include Robert Duvall?  They just ended up shoving him behind the bar, like the creepy ghost bartender from "The Shining."