Last week TIME magazine and Pew Research had a very interesting special report on the state of marriage in the United States.
The surveys found that marriage is no longer a necessary part of American life. Men and women today have sex, cohabitate, have children, and companionship all without involving marriage. Nearly 40% of us think marriage is obsolete, yet the institution remains revered and desired.
Americans still venerate marriage enough to want to try it. About 70% of us have been married at least once, according to the 2010 census. The Pew poll found that although 44% of young Americans believe marriage is headed for extinction, only 5% do not want to get married.
Promising publicly to be someone’s partner for life used to be something people did to lay the foundation of their independent life. It was the demarcation of adulthood. Now it’s more of a finishing touch, the last brick in the edifice. According to the survey the median age of men getting hitched for the first time is 28.2, and for women it’s 26.1. It’s gone up about a year every decade since the 1960’s.
TIME found that the college-educated wait until they’re finished with their education, and their careers are launched, while the less educated wait until they feel comfortable financially. But that comfort keeps getting more elusive...
This explains why there was a 13% increase in couples living together from 2009 to 2010. Researchers attributed the jump to the economic slump. They found that people decided to live together because they don’t have enough money to live alone, but they are not going to get married until they have enough money. That’s the catch.
Cohabitation among the economically blessed is a whole different ball game than it is among the struggling. For those with money living together is like a warm-up run before the marital marathon. They work about a few kinks and do a bit of house training and eventually get married and have kids.
Cohabitation seems to have no negative effect on marriage’s chances if it’s preceded by engagement. No previous live-in lovers and no children. Who has the clout to put those conditions into place? Women with their own means of support, and men who don’t need women to look after them.
